Life in Contemplation of Recently Viewed Movies

I would like to discuss the last three movies I've seen within the past week. Girlfriend Experience, Up and Revolutionary Road. I am reminded of a story I read about Natalie Portman, and how each time she read 'Diary of Anne Frank,' she was struck by something different in the story. So currently, I seem to be taking life purpose and relationship messages from everything I see/read, which means that I am continuing and maybe making some headway on this quarter-life crisis business. This post is probably going to be a spoiler for anyone who hasn't seen the movies, so proceed with caution.

The Girlfriend Experience is about a girl who is a highend callgirl who basically provides a sort of "girlfriend experience" to her callers. She goes on dates with them, listens to them talk, pretends to care, remembers their names, jobs, problems, etc. They don't even always have sex with her, she is sort of a paid companion. The point of the movie in my mind is that her life is empty; she is paid to be whatever these men want her to be, and as a result, has become sort of an empty shell of a person. Her opinions and tastes are those of her callers. She has become this empty companion that they want her to be. She lets her guard down to one of her callers and mistakes their exchange for something meaningful, but he was playing the game as much as she was, and it means nothing in the end. What I am taking away from this movie is that you cannot just be whomever another person wants or requires of you; you lose yourself if you do that. You have to be your own person, have your own interests, etc, otherwise you become meaningless, pointless, useless as a person, beyond any physical worth you may possess. She just became a body, a doll for these men to play with in the end. They wanted to play date with her. A robot could just as easily serve this purpose.

Up is about a man who lives a fulfilling, but outwardly unadventurous, life. He was happily married, but when his wife dies, he begins to regret that they never did the exciting things they had planned and dreamed about, so he sets about to do them in her memory. He is entrenched in the memory of her and things that remind him of her, and so is not really living any longer. On his travels, he learns that there is still living to be done, and that living relationships are more important than things. He also realizes that his wife would have wanted him to keep living and that she did not regret the course of their life, but thought of it as an adventure in itself. So this movie is about the importance of relationships with people (and animals) and not living in regret or in memories, but about living in the present. And that the accumulation of stuff will not replace these things or lead to any lasting happiness. That is not to say that memories are bad and should be forgotten, or that we should throw out all of our things, just that they shouldn't be everything. We should pursue our dreams/goals when we can, but not be bogged down with unhappiness if we cannot obtain what we think we want, and instead relish experiences we are having now.

Revolutionary Road is the most depressing of these movies, as you might guess. It is about a couple that meets and falls in love when they are young and full of ideals. The ideals are exciting and they are excited to have met each other because they share in these ideals when they think others don't understand. This is probably the basis for a lot of relationships, this mutual understanding. Life proceeds and things that initially did not bother them: moving to the suburbs, having kids :begins to wear on them and they are driven to adultery, fights, etc. They are living the dull lives that they had dreaded when they were younger. Kate Winslet's character becomes particularly unhappy and depending on which side of the issue you're on, 1) decides she wants to pursue her ideals, or 2) tries to relive the past. She takes up the mantra, "Why not?," nothing is stopping us, and wants to pick up and move to Paris, where they will live a wholly atypical lifestyle for the times, and be something special again. Stop selling out and pursue "life." Leo's character gets on board and they have a few happy months dreaming and planning and nearly carry out their plan, but Leo is becomes reengaged in the dull lifestyle they have started and is tempted back into the rat-race by recognition from the higher ups and promise of more money. Kate Winslet is deeply disillusioned by this turn of events and develops a hatred for the man that Leo has become. Her vision of him as a true, free-thinking man is lost forever. She ultimately decides that she must also play this game and acts as he wants her to, but she appears to die inside and attempts an abortion on herself, which ultimately leads to her actual death. So this movie is about youthful ideals and ambitions selling out (or growing up?), ultimately leading to acceptance and self-delusion (maturing?) about meaningless (realistic?) life circumstances. There is a dichotomy between a "crazy" mathematics PhD thinking their pursuit of ideals is noble and brave, and coworkers and neighbors who think they are immature and whimsical. There is a scene at the end that tells us that the creators of the movie are on the side of the ideals, as an older man who has sold out long ago expresses fond remembrance of the couple, even as his wife chastises them for being unrealistic. You can imagine that most people in the movie industry would support pursuing their dreams because they all did and made it!

There is a difference in Up and Revolutionary Road in how youthful dreams are dealt with. In Up, the characters live happy lives, even though they are not as exciting as they imagined when they are young. In Revolutionary Road, however, the characters fight against the current circumstances and are ultimately unhappy when they do not pursue their dreams. And to reconcile this difference, I will suggest that... the characters in Up were not lying to themselves about how to be happy, and the Leo character was. The Up couple was true to themselves in their circumstance, whereas Leo and Kate were trying to lie about being happy. So stop with the self-denial, I guess, and discover a way to be happy with your circumstance and make it work for you.

So, to recap, these movies all express, in different ways, the importance of being yourself and pursuing your interests in order to be content now. That solely trying to please others is ultimately self-destructive and requires a large amount of self-denial. That true human relationships can only be had through true communication of things that matter, as opposed to trite daily occurrences. That allowing yourself to dream, and to care, is important in life, although the actual pursuit of dreams is not necessarily the path to happiness. And that there are always adventures out there, if you look for them.

Or something. ;)